I get it. Even if you live and breathe marketing, "The Google" and inner workings of search engine marketing can be a mysterious and confusing place. All of the phrases and acronyms - SEM, SEO, PPC, paid search, SERPS, and so on.
That’s where my sympathy ends. Here’s the TLDR: If you don’t understand something and aren’t interested in actually listening or learning, stay the fuck out and keep your opinions to yourself. In fairness, that’s a general statement that can be applied to pretty much everything.
It’s understandable to get organic confused with paid in the search engine marketing world, but here’s the deal, Bill. You can’t just push a button to “turn SEO on” and expect immediate sales impacts just because you decided that you wanted something at that moment.
Some things have to be earned. Some things require strategic vision, consistent implementation, and...gasp...time. And it turns out that "asking” in a more threatening tone for it to be "turned on" faster isn't an influential strategy in this situation.
Did you check if your pond is empty or if it can hold stock before you paid premium dollar for that nearby rundown resort intending to turn it into a luxury fishing destination? I really hope so. Otherwise, count down from 10 and prepare for internal combustion to begin.
You may have prime real estate next to what will become the best fishing hole ever known to man, but to earn organic (ie. not paying for it) search recognition for the amazing experience you are offering, someone who knows what the fuck they are doing has to work on it. Strategically. And regularly. Which probably means you have to pay someone. And before you ask, no, the graphic designer can’t just do SEO because they’re already in marketing.
So, if your opinion is that "the SEO" does not appear to be on, please feel free to use the following as a checklist:
Make sure that your pond is an ecosystem that has fish & and supports fishing before deciding to create a fishing destination
Clearly outline what the fuck you’re trying to accomplish and for whom with this fishing destination
Find out who else is already serving customers at your pond. If they are successful, find out why and how.
When potential fishing destination customers are seeking information, consistently serve them something they will use and value. Don't be selfish and waste their time by serving them things that only meet your needs and not theirs.
Pay someone who knows what they are doing to help and tell them how much you love and appreciate them regularly.
Get the fuck out of their way.
Need a creative brief to get you started with a project? Check out this great, free one!
Bill, you're always such a pain in the butt.